Guest post by Péter Habina Sr.
In psychological manipulation, the manipulator exerts psychological pressure on another person to change their opinion or way of thinking, and consequently their behaviour.
The explicit aim of emotional manipulation is to elicit intense emotions from the other person. It seeks to undermine their ability to form their own opinions, shifting them decisively from a rational state to an emotional one, and forcing their own emotions upon the other person whilst pushing the other’s own views into the background.
According to psychologists, manipulative behaviour may stem from toxic aggression, which is highly likely to have its roots in unhealthy childhood relationships.
Why is manipulation considered a fundamental form of human interaction?
A manipulator manipulates in order to use emotional influence to get what they want. They feel they are controlling and dominating the other person, or even ruling over them.
Their toolkit is extensive: ranging from pity to outright emotional blackmail.
In the majority of cases, it can be demonstrated retrospectively that this behaviour stems from the family environment and is part of family dynamics.
The consequences of manipulation
Manipulation poisons healthy human relationships.
It serves the actual interests of neither party.
The manipulator feels that they have achieved their goal through their actions; however, this makes it almost impossible for their self-esteem to develop normally, thereby damaging the socialisation process.
The manipulated party, meanwhile, finds themselves in a state of diminished self-esteem, and their feelings include the following:
• Constantly having to defend themselves
• A loss of the sense of security
• A loss of trust
• Constant self-doubt and the need to seek forgiveness from others
• Feelings of pain, anger and guilt.
As manipulation is a form of emotional abuse, it is very important that we address it. Naturally, the best course of action is to put an end to the manipulator’s behaviour immediately and walk away from such a relationship if we feel that we are not happy or satisfied in it.
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